Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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Grief, life and peace like a river…

Grief, life and peace like a river…

April 4, 2015 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

On page 219 with a page title of “The Storm” in a book my dear friend Ann Wilson read (I have to ask her the title again), was a passage that she felt so strongly about…enough so that she carries it in her wallet. We had breakfast together last week and she shared it with me and now I am sharing it with you.

“GRIEF IS A POWERFUL RIVER in flood. It cannot be argued or reasoned or wrestled down to an insignificant trickle. You must let it take you where it is going. When it pulls you under, all you can do is keep your eyes open for rocks and fallen trees, try not to panic, and stay face up so you will know where the sky is. You will need that information later. Eventually, its waters calm and you will be on a shore far from where you began, raw and sore, but clean and as close to whole as you will ever be again.”

This passage says what every person who has ever grieved has felt. My husband read it and said, “Wow, that’s heavy.” To which I replied, “Yes, as you know personally, grief is heavy.” He grunted and went to another room. Some of us don’t want to be reminded how intense grief can be. But, let’s face it…it is what it is.

This has been a heavy duty week for me. I had a questionable mammo which lead to ten days of waiting and wondering if my life was going to change again. I don’t want to sound whiney but I experienced that reality a little over four years ago and was not looking forward to going through it again. During the ten days of wonder and worry, I thought about my recently deceased brother and cousin and my little boy and their struggles with a body that had betrayed each of them. The memory of each one’s courage gave me the strength to face the possibilities head-on.

I had the re-do mammo and ultrasound yesterday. While lying in the dim ultrasound room waiting for the tech to show the film to the radiologist I prayed to God…and talked to Bobby and Cory. I told them that I wasn’t ready to be with them yet. But, I also told them that if that was what I had to do — so be it and I would be glad to see them. You know, the thought of not seeing them soon made me a bit sad too but my next thought was how liberated I felt when I recognized that I would be fine either way. Well, fortunately for me I was told that the multiple spots were most likely cysts and not tumors. The doctor will send film out to get a second opinion but I was relieved to not have to go through another breast cancer surgery, scary realities, etc. I would really like to meet and play with my youngest daughter’s grandchildren someday.

I will continue to navigate the powerful river, which to me represents grief and also life. Our lives are very much like a meandering river that pulls us one way or another…has rapids and flat spots and curves and currents. I believe that eventually we will land at the peaceful-beautiful setting for which each of us is destined.

Be well,
Shirley

Blog, Denial, Grief, Life and Living, Self Care

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Reviews & Testimonials

I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
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Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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I loved this very human and touching story of a family’s journey with a terminally ill child. Although it was sad, it was also courageous and funny. It was far more about living than about dying, and offers a positive example for all of us to value each day. The messages about life beyond death’s door are intriguing, uplifting, and very believable. Thank you for a beautiful read.
Marcia Shaver (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
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Having dealt with the loss of my son, I can totally relate to this book. While reading it, I found myself reflecting back to the “stupid” things that people said to me when I was in the throes of so much pain that I couldn’t see past the very next second. I am comforted by Shirley’s words which are down to earth and easily understood. This book WILL help you if you let it. It is a quick read and is one of the things that I like most about it. Grief is a lifelong journey that changes over time so take care of your heart and read this book. It is… Read more
April Braykovich (Kirkland, WA) (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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