When grievers are told that they should be “moving on”, what exactly does that mean? It was the topic of intense consternation for one of my clients recently. The first anniversary of her husband’s sudden death just passed. Seemingly intelligent people that she thought cared about and understood her asked, … Read the rest

As we approach the holidays, I wanted to reprise my ‘How to get through the holidays” post. It is painful every day, but for some, it can feel even more intense during the holidays when missing a loved one. Just know that you are not alone and to always take … Read the rest

Today I happened upon an article about grief attributed to Christopher Walken. It struck a chord with me as he said essentially what I always tell people. You never stop missing the loved one who died; eventually, you get used to the gaping hole the death leaves in your heart, … Read the rest

The other day I had a discussion with someone about our mutual friend who had been an on-air personality and reporter both radio and television for all of his adult life. When he aged out and lost both positions he was devastated. Storm clouds moved in and he became very … Read the rest

When you suffer a devastating loss either from death, divorce or abandonment it changes you. You may not even realize it. Our focus is loss from death. Suddenly you notice that you are not hanging out with the same people, and many of the people you have pulled away from … Read the rest

One of my clients just told me how much she hates people. I am pretty sure that is exactly what she is feeling. I applauded her truth telling. She went on to explain that it makes her feel like striking out when well meaning friends and acquaintances tell her how … Read the rest

When your memories start to fade and get blurry you might feel as if you are betraying your loved one who died. I sometimes cannot remember if a cute story about my son was really his experience or his sister’s. Post menopausal brains aren’t the most reliable with our precious … Read the rest

I have recently been reminded of that old adage that says “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” Sometimes that happens when people are too interested in something and don’t see the whole picture and how it might impact others in a negative way. Those same trees can block … Read the rest

What makes a friend, good friend, long-time friend, once best friend abandon grievers? Is it that they don’t know what to say? Is it too scary for him or her to face their own or a loved one’s mortality? I would love to hear your thoughts. Having experienced it myself … Read the rest

If you google “Young Widows” or “Young Widows and Widowers” all you get are dating sites. I was stunned. As if the main point is to replace the person who died. From my clients, I know for a fact that replacing a beloved spouse is the furthest thing from the … Read the rest