Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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The meaning of sunsets

The meaning of sunsets

October 12, 2015 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

When the sky turns beautiful after sunset I think of my sweet brother Bobby. Sunset signals the end of the day. It won’t come back the same tomorrow or ever. Living in a place where we get beautiful pinky orange gold sunsets all the time makes me think of him every single day.

As we get closer to the anniversary of Bobby’s death I can feel the tension in my shoulders, neck and back and the ache in my heart blooming in my body like a fertilized cancer cell. Sick analogy right? A little close to home? Yes it is. I find myself being irritable and edgy. Reminds me of all the years after Cory died when I would feel this way as the anniversaries approached. This time it is a bit different because as sad and awful as it was to see my son die I didn’t have the anger that I have over Bobby’s sub-standard medical care. My brother should still be alive laughing with his wife and kids over something silly…playing his bass and looking forward to the holidays. But he isn’t here and his death should not have happened. All of this is compounded by a legal situation that should not be re-wounding his wife and kids. And me. I was deposed for the lawsuit and it was the biggest waste of time. Not sure what the guy’s strategy was but he asked the most ridiculous questions. We will have to wait and see I guess. It just pains me that Nette and the kids had to be asked similar ridiculous questions that tore holes in their already broken hearts. I won’t go into more detail at this time but just know that my brother should not have died. His wife and kids should not have to live without him. His four legged son Louie should not have to wonder where his master went and why doesn’t he come home.

So, the moral of the story is this — if you or a loved one is sick off and on or for a while, has a sore that doesn’t heal (even a tiny one) go see a doctor you trust. Then, go get another opinion or two. Then, be your own best advocate because you really cannot trust the doctors to know all that we consumers believe they should after all those years of education and practice. They screw up all the time. They have biases that make them treat people differently from one case to the next. Bobby was too trusting and naive but he should not have died because of it. Don’t let this scenario happen to someone you love. I hope your sunsets are just beautiful — not beautiful and reminders of the loss of a loved one.

Be well,
Shirley

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Reviews & Testimonials

This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Having dealt with the loss of my son, I can totally relate to this book. While reading it, I found myself reflecting back to the “stupid” things that people said to me when I was in the throes of so much pain that I couldn’t see past the very next second. I am comforted by Shirley’s words which are down to earth and easily understood. This book WILL help you if you let it. It is a quick read and is one of the things that I like most about it. Grief is a lifelong journey that changes over time so take care of your heart and read this book. It is… Read more
April Braykovich (Kirkland, WA) (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Anyone going through the grieving process would benefit from this quick read. Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief is filled with keen insight and wisdom from the author who lost her own son, and through her own grieving process decided to become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. In her quest to help others, Enebrad shows tremendous courage and transparency in dealing with her own grief to help others going through the grieving process. Beautifully done.
Lonnie Pacelli "The Project Management Advisor", Bellevue, WA
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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This is a must read for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.. It is a quick read and knowing that the author has dealt with loss helps you to know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, we all deal in our own ways. I have read this book three times so far and each time I find something new to help me with the loss of my granddaughter. I will continue to read over and over again and I plan to purchase this book for any friend or family going through this process!
Barb Bottman, Snohomish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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