Lost love

“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Dave Matthews Band

Grieving the loss of a relationship is difficult. It can be as devastating as when a loved one dies. When a relationship ends all future plans you made together die. And it is doubly difficult if you aren’t the one who caused the end of the relationship. So many of my friends, relatives and even me have been in long-term relationships which ended badly. The majority of my friends came to realize that no matter the length of time with someone it is impossible to know every aspect of his or her personality if he or she doesn’t want you to. So what should you do if your heart gets broken? Therapy is a good option. Read lots of books about how to cope. Do not let the person continue to hurt you. Take time to feel the loss, grieve and then, let go and move forward. Sounds simple, right? 

When you do decide to move on, be sure to take the lessons learned and be aware of possible pitfalls. My #1 tip is if the person you are interested in does not have any friends—run away. #2 If the person is too attached to his or her mother or father —- run. By too attached I mean calling multiple times a day. Or cannot make a decision without parental input. #3 If he or she cannot keep a job and is not financially independent — run. #4 If he or she is in debt — run. #5 If your values are so different, don’t expect them to mesh later.#6 If you cannot have open conversations about any and all subjects. Communication is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship.