As I write this post, I feel a little off-kilter and scared, to be honest. Let me catch you up. I recently flew to Nashville to attend my friend’s baby shower. One of my best friends was planning to fly in from Raleigh the day after I arrived, and we would see the sights together. She was going to go with me to celebrate Bianca’s baby. I had just entered my room when my phone rang. My daughter, Ke’ili, was crying so hard I couldn’t understand her. Then, the bottom dropped out of my world —-again. Kei had seen her oncologist for her three-month check-up. Her blood test was terrible. The leukemia was back. She needed to get to the hospital and was upset because she couldn’t reach my husband, who was in session. I calmed her down and said I would ask my friend Tina to knock on Steve’s office window and hold up a sign to call me ASAP. I started to cry as soon as we hung up. I called Tina. Luckily, she was home. She walked over to our house, and within a few minutes, my husband called. Through sobs, I explained what happened. He immediately went to pick up Keili and her puppy. He calmly drove Kei to the hospital and dropped her off at the ER. They made her sit there until midnight before putting her in a room. I do not understand how this has become the norm. If a doctor says to get to the hospital, you would think a room would be waiting for you when you arrive. Anyway, the next day, she had several biopsies. None were good. F*ck cancer!!!!
At this moment, Kei is in the hospital working on her laptop while a machine is collecting her T-cells from her blood. The cells will be sent to England to be treated with a new drug that will weaponize the cells, and when they get infused back into her bloodstream, they will kill the cancer cells. Immunotherapy sounds amazing. Please pray with us every day at 10 am Pacific Time that the treatment will keep her cancer-free and that she will live a long, healthy, happy life with children and her perfect mate.
This latest setback has been another blow for me, and I struggle not to get sucked down into a pot of self-pity. There are so many who have it far worse than me. I do get sad and sometimes scary reminders of how life was when Cory was sick. The Deja Vu can make my heart feel heavy. I am grateful that my husband is a source of calm and quiet strength and that my daughter is the warrior princess she proves to be time after time. We have so much support from family and friends, too. We are blessed.
I have been distracting myself with making lists and contacting the companies I used to like that gave money to Projext 2025, or that dumped their DEI policies, or that support anti-LGBTQ rights. Join me in writing letters, emails, or making calls. We must resist, and one of the best ways to take a stand is using your wallet. I am so pissed at Home Goods, Bali, Charmin, Target, Cinnabon, Soma and Anthropologie…and others. On February 28th, DO NOT BUY anything from anyone unless it is an emergency or a mom-and-pop.
Back to the issue of relapse. It is just as bad, if not worse, than an initial diagnosis. Kei has been off chemo for just over two years. She thought it was time to breathe easier. So, it feels like the rug got pulled out from under again. She keeps a positive attitude and surrounds herself with wonderful friends who could not be more supportive. Kei keeps working and is now taking a pottery class. She recently moved, so she is decorating her new space. I am so proud of her resilience and courage.
Be well and be strong! Stand up! Fight oppression and F*ck cancer!
Shirley
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