Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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A little planning goes a long ways…

A little planning goes a long ways…

August 18, 2015 by Shirley Enebrad 1 Comment

When a loved one dies it doesn’t matter how it happened we all feel a multitude of emotions. Not exactly in the same order but usually the same ones….not the least of which is the feeling of being overwhelmed. I met an incredible woman by happenstance last week. She asked to share my lunch table in a small store where I was hanging out waiting for my car to be fixed. She was lovely. I found out that her name is Jeri and she works for a funeral home. Jeri had previously been a physical therapist at a small local hospital but after retiring she decided to continue helping people by taking the position at the mortuary. The job of speaking with grieving family members cannot be easy for anyone. I could tell that Jeri’s compassion and caring carries – literally and figuratively people through the process. Most grievers are not prepared for arranging a funeral or memorial service because they did not have that scary conversation with their loved one. Add that to the feeling of loss and sadness or shock from an accidental untimely death and you can see pretty quickly how someone like Jeri can be so important. Jeri exudes kindness and the aloha spirit out of her pores. I am so grateful that I met her. I know we will see each other again.

My daughter is selling insurance these days. She came by last week and practiced her pitch on me. One of the great things she gives to people is a “Family Information Guide”. This legal sized piece of paper asks for vital statistics, veterans information, persons to be notified, financial institutions, last will, and most importantly funeral service requests. Filling something like this out can help ease the process for grieving loved ones and also make the job so much faster and easier for those folks like Jeri. No one wants to think about such things when healthy but this kind of information would be good to add to your last will and testament paperwork.

My husband and I are going to sit down and fill out the form my daughter gave us. With all of the deaths we have faced we know that anything can happen. So, it is time to get our desires sorted out and on paper so that if something happens we won’t have to try to remember what the other said—we will have it in writing. We are going to encourage his parents to do the same so we won’t have to guess later.

On that cheery note – have a great week!

Be well,
Shirley

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Comments

  1. Nora Strothman says

    August 18, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Thank you, Shirley. I like the idea of a Family Information Guide. One thing I would add: make sure your loved ones know all the passwords.

    Reply

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Reviews & Testimonials

This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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