“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.” This is a quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD. She was a friend of my family and especially connected to Cory. I think of this quote often. Especially when I am feeling like the latest windstorm is blasting my spirit. That wind starts kicking up right before Mother’s Day every year…
Mother’s Day is very important to most mothers. To me it just reminds of the day my little boy crossed over the rainbow bridge. Bless his heart he wanted to be with me for Mother’s Day. So, he hung in as long as he could. He actually died two hours past midnight but his process started on Mother’s Day. It was sweet of him to want to be there for me on that day. He had been in a drug induced coma a few weeks prior and after six days when he was able to speak the first thing he asked me was if he had missed Mother’s Day. He didn’t mean for it to become my least favorite holiday but it is. I am sure that is probably a struggle for other mothers whose children have died too. I always think of the all of the moms that I have met in all of the grief workshops and groups that I have facilitated over these many years. My heart goes out to all of you! (Sorry there are too many to name.)
Just recently I saw on Facebook one of those messages that looks like a sign. It was a question that starts off with the fact that people whose spouses died are called widows or widowers and people whose parents died are called orphans…but there isn’t a word to describe parents whose children have died. My answer to that is that people whose children have died are “heartbroken”.
If your child died no matter how old he or she was at the time when they passed you have my deepest sympathies. If you are open to joining a support group I urge you to find one. You do not have to speak. You can get a lot out of a group just by being there and listening. Only speak if you choose. It is not mandatory. Not everyone is cut out for a group experience but do yourself a favor and at least give it a try. It could just save your life. Listening to others describe their windstorms might just help you cope with yours.
Please have the happiest Mother’s Day day that you possibly can. Try to focus on happy memories of your departed loved ones…your children, the person who made you a parent, moms, dads, siblings, and friends. That is how I get through this holiday every year.
Be well,
Shirley
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