This year, we put up our Christmas tree super early. My daughter Keili read an article about how putting your tree up early brings you joy. So she was searching for a tree. I got our decorations out and sorted them for her so she could have the ornaments we had purchased for her since birth. I had started a tradition of giving her a Nutcracker every year. I hauled the ornaments and 33 nutcrackers over to her place. Well, then, I looked at the mess in my living room and decided it wasn’t worth the time or hassle to re-pack and store the decorations for a few weeks. So, I had my husband get our tree out of storage and went ahead and decorated it. I have to tell you, it did bring joy.
I fear our neighbors think we are crazy. With the tree decorated and looking so beautiful, I ordered cards with family photos. I finished my shopping before Thanksgiving, and since I use bags made with holiday print fabric, everything was bagged under the tree in the blink of an eye. That put me in a holiday baking mood, so I made ten different types of cookies, plus Almond Bark and Christmas Crack. I hadn’t baked Christmas cookies except for my regular Pizzelles since Ke’ili was born. With her December birth, we had intentionally never put up the tree until after her birthday. We didn’t want her to feel like Christmas overshadowed her day. I realize now that I stopped baking because it all felt so rushed, plus I was working full-time and running a non-profit. It feels perfect to be able to enjoy the spirit of this season. I highly recommend it. The funny thing was that in October, Ke’ili asked me why we always put our tree up so late and only had two weeks to enjoy it. I told her it was because of her, and she laughed.
I wish you joy even though you are grieving. Sometimes it takes a while. Take care of yourself. Remember, deep breaths. Cry when you feel it. Don’t hold back. Celebrate your loved ones. It can be as simple as setting a place at the dinner table. Put their photo on the table. Create a memory box. Write a letter. Put a unique ornament on the tree that reminds you of the things they loved to do. Try to spark your joy for a season that can be extra tough for grievers.
Mele Kalikimaka!
Shirley
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