The grief that comes from your child or any loved one dying is horrific. But sometimes surviving sucks too. It is like a spiral. You fight to stay alive by any means possible, but your quality of life can be screwed up forever. I was just talking about how I know so many kids who survived their cancer but who have been left miserable afterwards. So many have residual effects from the treatments they received. One young man has been in and out of the hospital and constantly in urgent care because of what the chemotherapy did to his body. I believe that if my son Cory had survived he would have ended up with brain tumors, osteoporosis or worse. So, as if a strange premonition occurred, the very next day after I was discussing this issue with my friend Candy, I got a call from my daughter Ke’ili. The pain she had been experiencing in her shoulder for several months finally drove her to the doctor. This was after her hip started hurting too. It turns out that the high dose and long-term use of steroids during her chemotherapy caused osteonecrosis also known as avascular necrosis in both hip joints and her shoulder. She will need all of them to be replaced. The problem is getting an appointment in a timely manner. She was told she would have to wait a month to be seen. If I sound frustrated, I am. Not only is she in so much pain that she can barely walk but she is also concerned as am I that it will keep getting worse. Avascular necrosis means the bone dies due to lack of blood flow. It has been a year since she finished chemo, so my questions are vast. Why now? Will she have to worry about her other joints? Is this a lifetime risk? Can they do regular scans to check her bones? I am sure if caught earlier they might have been able to do something less invasive than a joint replacement.I am also flummoxed that Kei’s oncologist didn’t warn her that if she felt pain in her joints to get in right away. She put it off for months thinking she was sleeping wrong. Obviously one builds up a tolerance for the pain over time.
Please pray for Ke’ili and all cancer patients and survivors who are left with ticking time bombs in their bodies from the stupid side effects of their life-saving treatments.
I have been thinking about my son so much this week because it was his birthday and also because I am rewriting the Over the Rainbow Bridge book. My inventory burned in my house on Maui so I am going to do print-on-demand via Amazon, and also make it available on Kindle. Well, as my luck would have it neither the publisher nor printer kept the file from the original print. I am cool with it though because I updated and rearranged a few chapters. It should be ready
soon. But I hadn’t read it since the first print and I was rather proud of myself for taking the high road on several people and their behavior. 🙂 It was hard work though. Reliving the painful diagnosis, the challenges, and the ending. I did laugh a lot and it was wonderful to be reminded of all of our loved ones who loved us enough to help us through the cancer journey.You know who you are…
Be well,
Shirley
PS Thanks to Robert Lukeman for the beautiful photo via UnSplash.
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