Shifts and Returns

When someone we care about dies the world shifts…your whole sense of the world changes. It is much like an old typewriter that shifts to another line when you hit the return. That is what I have learned and continue to learn each time someone I love dies.

I just woke up from a dream visit I was having with Ken Schram. He reminds me of the old typewriter too because he refused to come into the computer age for the longest time! I would walk past his office and hear him hunting and pecking with his two index fingers only. Ding! the little bell that would sound when he used the return. We all used to laugh because of his refusal to switch to a computer. I have to admit that he did okay with his method.

Schram looked really young…even younger than when I first met him. He told me that Bill Strothman was loving Heaven although missing his family. (Tears rolled down my face with this report). Then we had a long conversation about several people we both care about and how he felt each was doing since he died. We were sitting at a small café table in the sun (of course) and as he spoke of each one he or she appeared at the table, one at a time. They didn’t participate and didn’t seem to know we were there talking about them. Haha, I think that is called gossip. But anyway, it was clear that he has been keeping an eye on his loved ones. We also chatted about how the world is different now. There seems to be a little less air to breathe…a little less color in the sky…and little less brilliance from the stars and the sun. Schram of course said that he is experiencing the opposite. He has more vivid and vibrant colors, celestial music and inner peace and happiness. That is a comfort in many ways but at times doesn’t do much for those of us surviving with less.

Our conversation reminded me that when Cory died I felt the loss of color, light and breath too for a while. It was more severe at that time because it was my little boy I was mourning but the general feelings were the same. Eventually my world got brighter again. I have to believe that it will this time too. I can’t tell whether the world shifted back a little over time or if I just adapted to living with less color, light and air.

If you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, give it time and you will see deeper colors, feel the light and breathe easier again. Not sure if the return key puts us back to where we were before or helps us write a new existence. But, just know that you can survive a broken heart and the sun will shine again.

Be well,
Shirley