Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Workshops
  • Blog
  • In the News
  • Contact
Perspective

Perspective

February 22, 2023 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

At the risk of sounding like a Karen, I just need to vent a bit. I was on one of the machines at my gym this morning, contemplating my daughter Keili’s future. She just had a bone marrow tap the other day and won’t get the results until she sees her oncologist in a week and a half. These waiting periods have always been a problem for me as I am known to be impatient. It happened all the time when Cory was in treatment and annoyed me then, too. In case you missed it, Keili went to France with three friends to celebrate her cancer treatment’s end. While there, she tripped or rolled her ankle on the cobblestone. We are unsure what caused it because her feet remain numb from the chemotherapy. Anyway, she called me from the emergency room at a hospital in Strousberg, France, with the horrific news that her fall had broken her left foot and her right ankle. After a lot of stress and a bajillion dollars for a first-class seat home, she had surgery a week and a half ago. She is in a boot and a cast. Getting around is challenging when you cannot put weight on either foot. She has persevered. So, while we were in the car yesterday, Keili mentioned that her heart rate is still off the charts and that her reduced medication isn’t doing the trick. We will head to the cardiologist on the same day as the oncologist. That was yesterday’s stressor.

Back to today. So, I am quietly pondering, and this woman comes in and, of course, takes the treadmill behind where I was ruminating. Too loudly, she starts complaining to someone on her phone (phones are a no-no) about how pissed off she is that her son was not accepted into the USC Law School. She said, “Well, yes, he did apply to other schools, BUT USC was his first choice!” This went on for 5 minutes. I seriously wanted to smack her. I wanted to say, “Lady, get some perspective. Does he have cancer? Does he have a heart problem? Well, I have a kid who has the bones of an old lady because of her chemo treatment and a messed up heart. Get real!” But I just fumed and left.

While driving home, I remembered how insensitive some people were when Cory was sick. He tossed his cookies for more than five years. He, like, Keili, couldn’t walk many times from the treatments. I had friends whine to me about their child having ear infections or strep throat, and other treatable ailments, even though they knew what my son was experiencing. It would drive me batty to hear blow-by-blow descriptions of an uncomfortable child with chicken pox.

I got home and told Steve, my kind, patient, psychologist, angel of a husband, that I am getting weary of stupid people with such easy lives that they whine about silly stuff. He smiled and said, “Honey, you haVe never suffered those people well.” I replied, “touche.”

So, awareness is critical, and perspective is essential to avoid people like me who take umbrage with unnecessary whining, as I was close to snapping.

Be well,

Shirley

Blog

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive blog posts via email

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Reviews & Testimonials

I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
I loved this very human and touching story of a family’s journey with a terminally ill child. Although it was sad, it was also courageous and funny. It was far more about living than about dying, and offers a positive example for all of us to value each day. The messages about life beyond death’s door are intriguing, uplifting, and very believable. Thank you for a beautiful read.
Marcia Shaver (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Having dealt with the loss of my son, I can totally relate to this book. While reading it, I found myself reflecting back to the “stupid” things that people said to me when I was in the throes of so much pain that I couldn’t see past the very next second. I am comforted by Shirley’s words which are down to earth and easily understood. This book WILL help you if you let it. It is a quick read and is one of the things that I like most about it. Grief is a lifelong journey that changes over time so take care of your heart and read this book. It is… Read more
April Braykovich (Kirkland, WA) (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>

Copyright © 2025 · Shirley Enebrad · Website Customization by Cascade ValleyDesigns

Copyright © 2025 · Going Green Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in