Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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Made in Italy

Made in Italy

August 21, 2020 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

I just watched the new Liam Neeson movie called “Made in Italy” and it made me think I should write about familial grief. Neeson’s son Micheal Richardson co-starred. This must have been extremely cathartic for both father and son since the death of Natasha Richardson, Neeson’s wife, and Richardson’s mum. I read an interview with Micheal (pronounced Me-Hall) where he disclosed that after his mother died from the ski accident he went wild for a few years. Apparently no one told the family about teenagers and grief. Teens typically delay grief, watching, and waiting for cues from the adults in their lives. So, by the time they are able to grieve, those around them do not understand that it is a reaction to what happened 18 months prior and because they seemed fine or at worst indifferent. Other things such as plunging grades, changing friends, and getting into trouble at school.

I don’t want to spoil it completely but in the movie, it becomes readily apparent that neither character dealt with their loss in a healthy way. I cried for both of them. My husband didn’t react as strongly as I did. Maybe because of how men and women grieve differently? We are all-in and men tend to busy themselves by doing. Doing can be just about anything that can take their minds off of their sadness such as, building things, yard work, drinking, drugs, or ill-timed companionship. Women talk about feelings while men don’t really know what to do with them, hence the busy doing.

So, if you are a parent and your partner dies please talk about your feelings with your children and let them know how devastated you are and ask about his or her feelings. Get professional grief help for all of you. From personal experience, I can tell you it confuses kids when you try to shield them from your pain. As I mentioned earlier, kids take their cues from parents and other adults in their lives. Don’t teach them to bottle up their grief. It will only blow up later. Just ask Micheal Richardson.

Be well,

Shirley

 

Blog, Grief, Life and Living, Self Care Tagged: family, grieving, husband, kids, teenagers, wife

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Reviews & Testimonials

Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Anyone going through the grieving process would benefit from this quick read. Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief is filled with keen insight and wisdom from the author who lost her own son, and through her own grieving process decided to become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. In her quest to help others, Enebrad shows tremendous courage and transparency in dealing with her own grief to help others going through the grieving process. Beautifully done.
Lonnie Pacelli "The Project Management Advisor", Bellevue, WA
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
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I loved this very human and touching story of a family’s journey with a terminally ill child. Although it was sad, it was also courageous and funny. It was far more about living than about dying, and offers a positive example for all of us to value each day. The messages about life beyond death’s door are intriguing, uplifting, and very believable. Thank you for a beautiful read.
Marcia Shaver (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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