Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Workshops
  • Blog
  • In the News
  • Contact
I hate cancer!

I hate cancer!

January 15, 2017 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

I know hate is a strong word. In the case of cancer though it is the only appropriate word I can come up with. First my son, then me, then my baby brother, and countless friends and relatives…and now my beloved fur baby Maile Izzy Baby Lulu.

Our Christmas was supposed to be glorious. My daughter Keili was home for the holidays…we had just moved into our new home… then, tragedy struck. My puppy girl who is 10 but still acts like a puppy didn’t want to go to bed. She just looked at me with a blank look. I was afraid she had suffered a stroke. She seemed to be breathing okay. So I went to bed. In the morning, she was not on her bed next to mine. I jumped out of bed and started running through the house looking for her. I finally found her at the bottom of the stairs staring blankly at the bottom step. She could not get up. I called to my husband who came and carried her outside to go shi shi. Where he discovered she had gone downstairs in an attempt to get out of the house to throw up.

I took her to the animal hospital because our vet was too booked up to see her. I could hardly get her out of the car and her breathing was labored and then she would pant and then her breathing slowed to almost nothing. We made it to the lobby of the hospital and she collapsed at my feet. When the vet tech was ready for her the two of us had to carry her to the scale and then the exam room.

The doctor could not hear Maile’s heartbeat. She told me to leave her there and go run my errands and that she would call me. I am starting to suspect vets don’t like to be the bearers of bad news. I received a call a while later. Maile’s pericardium was full of blood. They tapped it and removed 60 ml. She told me that this was typical of heart tumors.
The only person on the island who does echocardiograms had just left for two weeks on holiday.

Keili accompanied Maile and me to Honolulu. We flew out on Mokulele Airlines, which deserves a shout out because they flew Maile for free. Maile had lost all her energy again. She was able to lay on the bench seat with her head in my lap. We took her straight to the ER at a specialty veterinary hospital. Maile was admitted and we were sent on our way. With a heavy heart, I left my fur baby with strangers.

That afternoon 30ml of blood was removed from the sac around her heart. She was being pumped with fluids. The echocardiogram and ultrasound showed two Hemangiosarcomas. Bleeding tumors common to Golden Retrievers I was told. I would have to wait a day to speak with the oncologist.

To chemo or not to chemo was the big question. Steve and I each called Maui vets and asked for their opinions. They told us the chemo would give her a little more time but would not cure her cancer. We did not want her to suffer or to prolong her life selfishly if it would cause her pain. We finally decided to try the chemo to see if she could tolerate it. So, she was infused. I was instructed to purchase a Chinese herb medicine that helps stop bleeding. Yunna Baiyao is a miracle drug. The hard part is finding it in quantity because Maile has to take 4 capsules a day.

The first week was shaky. I cried a lot. She couldn’t eat without throwing up. Then, she stopped eating. Try getting pills down a dog who doesn’t want to eat. We were at the point where Steve called the vet to find out when he could come to our house to put her to sleep. Fortunately, the word was not until the end of the week.

She kept asking to go for a walk. She would make it as far as the driveway and stop. It was heartbreaking. We were preparing ourselves to say goodbye. The very next night I came home and she was eating McDonald’s magical french fries. The day after that she was swimming in the ocean.

Well, it has been a little over three weeks since diagnosis and she is doing amazingly well. She just had her second chemo treatment yesterday. She will likely feel crappy on Tuesday. But we have pills for that. We are just grateful that she is as normal as possible and still full of personality and pizazz. Maybe she will be a cancer survivor and prove all the doctors wrong. I am praying those magical fries did the trick. If she doesn’t survive, my grief will be deep and prolonged. I have never had a pet who took my heart like this little girl.

Be well,
Shirley

Grief, Life and Living

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive blog posts via email

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Reviews & Testimonials

The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
I loved this very human and touching story of a family’s journey with a terminally ill child. Although it was sad, it was also courageous and funny. It was far more about living than about dying, and offers a positive example for all of us to value each day. The messages about life beyond death’s door are intriguing, uplifting, and very believable. Thank you for a beautiful read.
Marcia Shaver (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>
Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
Read all Reviews & Testimonials >>

Copyright © 2025 · Shirley Enebrad · Website Customization by Cascade ValleyDesigns

Copyright © 2025 · Going Green Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in