Just as grief is a natural occurrence when you experience loss, guilt is a normal emotion that comes hand in hand with grief. No matter how someone dies, there is always the thought that we shoulda done this that and the other thing. If only we had been given more time or ( ______fill in the blank) we woulda been better, more attentive, more supportive, etc. etc. And if life wasn’t so unfair we coulda – I think you get my drift by now. Well, the reality is the majority of us did the best we could with what tools we had, There are some who are so screwed up they don’t have the capacity to care about others, but most us do.
The dictionary says: Guilt is the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.
Pretty harsh description, right? Well, I say, “cut yourself a break and let it go. Guilt is eating you up, and the person who crossed over the rainbow bridge isn’t being affected by anything you did or didn’t do.” I like to encourage the griever to write a letter to the person for whom they are feeling guilty. Make it completely honest, hard-hitting and balanced. You can then burn it or save. It is the act of expressing your truth that helps you heal and allows you to let go of guilt. It sounds too simple, doesn’t it? Well, I have personally witnessed hundreds of people helped by writing their loved ones and being able to say goodbye.