Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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Grief is Hard but Necessary

Grief is Hard but Necessary

November 27, 2013 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

The past few months for my brother Bobby have been hellish. He had a misdiagnosis and not great treatment as a result. I don’t want to violate my brother’s privacy any more than I already have by asking all of my FB friends to pray for him…But, unfortunately he is the perfect example that people are forced to mourn the loss or death of many things not just people….relationships, friendships, jobs/careers and body parts. My courageous brother made it through the surgery very well because he has a strong heart and a determination to live. These qualities will serve him well as he experiences the cycles of grief. The surgeon talked about sadness, anger, frustration and possible other emotions that will go around and around at various times until he adjusts. As the surgeon was talking I nodded knowing that people who have to say good-bye to their arm or leg or lung have to mourn those losses just like a loved one’s death.  My brother’s arm and hand are gone and that affects his ability to play the bass guitar—his life’s passion and the way he made his living. He knows that he has to find another way to make music and to re-learn how to cook, put on his pants, button his shirts, etc. This is so similar to someone who loses a loved one. We have to re-learn how to breathe…how to feel happy again…how to move forward. When my show was canceled I had to re-think who I was and how I was going to make a living. When I moved to a place that doesn’t have any local television stations I had to re-think again what kind of job I should get that would fit my skills and passions. These are not as dramatic or as painful as what my brother is facing but examples that loss comes in many ways. Grief is hard but necessary.  If you don’t allow yourself to feel and process the pain and experience the cycles of emotions it takes longer to heal. If you don’t deal with your grief it doesn’t go away…it will wait for you and take a toll on your life. So, get on with it.

My heart aches for Bobby and his family and for everyone who is grieving a loss.  I highly suggest support groups and of course one-on-one counseling.  Live with gratitude and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Live aloha,

Shirley

Grief, Life and Living, Self Care Tagged: adjust, anger, brave, death, grief, happy, sad, sadness

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Reviews & Testimonials

This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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