I just saw a meme on Facebook that was about grief attacks. It inspired me because I love the double meaning. It reminds me of the double meaning of rainbows. We love the beauty of each and every one. According to my son Cory, rainbows are the bridge from here to Heaven and when you see one it means someone is crossing over.
Grief attacks happen to all grievers. You can be anywhere when it hits you like a ton of bricks or a giant wave that slams you to the ocean floor. I always have trouble getting through the grocery store. There are so many products that remind me of my son Cory or my mom. It happens in the car with a song that reminds me of my brother Bobby’s music and when I once managed his band and all the fun we shared. Grief attacks in familiar places such as restaurants, bookstores, parks, Disneyland, movie theaters, old neighborhoods. Any place you experienced with the loved ones who are gone now has the potential for causing a grief attack.
Grief attacks become part of your grieving experience.They are normal and necessary. And grief attacks you when you least expect it.Yes, grief attacks you. Don’t be afraid. The pain caused by such attacks will subside, not because you “get over it” but because you get used to the pain.
I smile when I see rainbows, which is often since I live in the land of rainbows. I also say a quick prayer for whoever just crossed over. I also say, “aloha” to Cory for letting me know the real reason for rainbows.
Be well and be strong,
Shirley
Shirley, Margo Meyers sent me the link to your blog. We met last year at a fundraiser for Children’s Therapy Center in south King County when she served as emcee. My daughter has been a PT there for 15 years. Margo was back this year and we discussed my progress in dealing with the loss of my husband to ALS nearly three years ago. I mentioned that I am hit by “rogue waves” occasionally, some knocking me down for longer than others. I love that you call these episodes grief attacks. This evening I sat down to do a cross word and was listening to Elgar’s Enigma variations, and one movement reminded me of a time that we were in Philadelphia together and happened upon an outdoor concert of the Philadelphia Philharmonic. There had been a tragedy of some sort in the city that day, and they opened the concert with the adagio movement from this symphony. Needless to say, I had a grief attack this evening. I will look forward to reading your books and following your blog. I’ve thought of writing myself and have done some journaling. At times my thoughts seem almost too painful to write, but I think that I am learning that the price of deep love is pain. I shudder to think that I would have avoided the pain by not loving so deeply, and so these attacks or waves are beautiful in many respects, and they do pass. I look forward to reading about your son and how that has taken you to where you are in your life. Perhaps some day I can tell you about my husband and how his passing has changed my life. Thank you for your encouraging words. I don’t expect ever to “get over it”, and it is true that one grows accustomed to painful moments. I’ll look at rainbows differently from now on as well. They’ve always been a sign for me of goodness. I like your twist:)
Thank you.
Aloha Jean,
Just wondering how you are doing? Please let me know when you have a minute. I care.