Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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Grief Attacks and Rainbows

Grief Attacks and Rainbows

March 19, 2016 by Shirley Enebrad 2 Comments

I just saw a meme on Facebook that was about grief attacks. It inspired me because I love the double meaning. It reminds me of the double meaning of rainbows. We love the beauty of each and every one. According to my son Cory, rainbows are the bridge from here to Heaven and when you see one it means someone is crossing over.

Grief attacks happen to all grievers. You can be anywhere when it hits you like a ton of bricks or a giant wave that slams you to the ocean floor. I always have trouble getting through the grocery store. There are so many products that remind me of my son Cory or my mom. It happens in the car with a song that reminds me of my brother Bobby’s music and when I once managed his band and all the fun we shared. Grief attacks in familiar places such as restaurants, bookstores, parks, Disneyland, movie theaters, old neighborhoods. Any place you experienced with the loved ones who are gone now has the potential for causing a grief attack.

Grief attacks become part of your grieving experience.They are normal and necessary. And grief attacks you when you least expect it.Yes, grief attacks you. Don’t be afraid. The pain caused by such attacks will subside, not because you “get over it” but because you get used to the pain.

I smile when I see rainbows, which is often since I live in the land of rainbows. I also say a quick prayer for whoever just crossed over. I also say, “aloha” to Cory for letting me know the real reason for rainbows.

Be well and be strong,
Shirley

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Comments

  1. Jean Gronewald says

    April 1, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Shirley, Margo Meyers sent me the link to your blog. We met last year at a fundraiser for Children’s Therapy Center in south King County when she served as emcee. My daughter has been a PT there for 15 years. Margo was back this year and we discussed my progress in dealing with the loss of my husband to ALS nearly three years ago. I mentioned that I am hit by “rogue waves” occasionally, some knocking me down for longer than others. I love that you call these episodes grief attacks. This evening I sat down to do a cross word and was listening to Elgar’s Enigma variations, and one movement reminded me of a time that we were in Philadelphia together and happened upon an outdoor concert of the Philadelphia Philharmonic. There had been a tragedy of some sort in the city that day, and they opened the concert with the adagio movement from this symphony. Needless to say, I had a grief attack this evening. I will look forward to reading your books and following your blog. I’ve thought of writing myself and have done some journaling. At times my thoughts seem almost too painful to write, but I think that I am learning that the price of deep love is pain. I shudder to think that I would have avoided the pain by not loving so deeply, and so these attacks or waves are beautiful in many respects, and they do pass. I look forward to reading about your son and how that has taken you to where you are in your life. Perhaps some day I can tell you about my husband and how his passing has changed my life. Thank you for your encouraging words. I don’t expect ever to “get over it”, and it is true that one grows accustomed to painful moments. I’ll look at rainbows differently from now on as well. They’ve always been a sign for me of goodness. I like your twist:)
    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Shirley Enebrad says

      April 13, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      Aloha Jean,

      Just wondering how you are doing? Please let me know when you have a minute. I care.

      Reply

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Reviews & Testimonials

The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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I loved this very human and touching story of a family’s journey with a terminally ill child. Although it was sad, it was also courageous and funny. It was far more about living than about dying, and offers a positive example for all of us to value each day. The messages about life beyond death’s door are intriguing, uplifting, and very believable. Thank you for a beautiful read.
Marcia Shaver (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
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Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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