The beautiful flowers depicted in this scene will eventually wither and die. The scenery will change when the flowers are gone. The plants will continue to grow. The sky will still be blue. But, the experience will have changed.
Grief is the natural result of a major loss. When faced with death grief is inevitable. I always tell grievers, “You have to go through it to get out the other side intact.” It is not easy, and it doesn’t follow a set timetable because everyone grieves according to his or her experience with loss. Those unfortunate souls who try to ignore or circumvent the process find it doesn’t work. Endings cause grief. It will not just go away.
Doctors recently told my father-in-law he can no longer drive. His grief over a major life change is palpable. He grieves the loss of his independence. It’s a signal his life is getting short.
My brother Bobby had to have his arm amputated and as a bass player, he saw his ability to pursue his life’s passion end. I have known a number of people who lost the use of their limbs from illness or accidents. Life changes such as these require a complete overhaul of self-image, priorities, and how one does just about everything. My brother couldn’t butter his toast. My friend Michael Poth couldn’t sit up on his own nor use his legs. When faced with events such as the examples you first have to grieve before you can adjust and move forward. Bobby and Michael both did admirable jobs of adjusting after they grieved the losses.
The end of relationships whether through divorce or acrimony, grief is a by-product as well. I have witnessed worse grief by a woman who was cheated on by her husband and subsequently dumped for his much younger girlfriend than grievers whose spouses died. My heart ached for the grief of a teenage girl shunned by her best friend when she chose to attend a different high school. Break ups are painful losses too.
Grief is difficult. If you allow yourself to feel it and work it through you can heal and become stronger because of it. If you need a boost in the process, seek help from a good listener or a professional.
Be well,
Shirley
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