Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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Love not Hate

Love not Hate

June 20, 2015 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

This week’s horror story in Charleston, SC has been on my mind and my heart. My grief and sense of sadness runs deep. My grief is compounded by the various politicians who are using this obvious act of racism, hatred, and ridiculous sense of entitlement by the 21 year old shooter to score points with their constituency. First of all, I hate getting embroiled in political volleyball because presumably nothing I say will convince those who have opposite values and beliefs from mine that they are wrong and I am right… but it is mind boggling to consider that anyone with even a modicum of intelligence would call what happened in that church to a loving accepting welcoming community of solid citizens an “accident” after they were mowed down by this jackass who was shouting crazy accusations as if he had just watched the movie Mandingo for the umpteenth time. Or the rest of the political hopefuls and so-called journalists who say that what happened was not an act of racism. Then, I read how those at Fox somehow want to blame liberals for creating an atmosphere of “religious animosity towards Christians”. Why can’t they call it what it is? This warped young man who is filled with hatred from where is anyone’s guess and who probably wanted to make a name for himself because his pathetic existence thus far meant that he was and would always be a nobody — decided this was the way to become famous. I also wish that media outlets would stop showing his face or using his name so that the exact opposite happens and no other dumb kids will have the same idea for his or her road to fame. Now that young people want to emulate those reality stars whose only claim to fame is making sex tapes or airing their dirty laundry on television cable channels I fear that we can sadly expect more horrific tragedies like this one.

My husband, a friend and I were just having a discussion the other day about young people who don’t want to work towards goals and just expect that they should be famous or get into Harvard, etc. We need to wise up and teach young children that not everyone who likes to play basketball will be as good or as famous as Michael Jordan. Not every kid who wants to be able to sing like the latest chart topper will get there. And, just because you want to go to Harvard or Yale doesn’t mean you don’t have to work at getting the grades or the SAT scores. I am truly afraid for the future.

My prayers are with the families and the community of Charleston. Yes, I am a proud Christian. No, I don’t believe that there is an atmosphere of religious animosity towards my church or me. I am also a person of color who has felt the barbs of discrimination at various times in my life. Racism is alive and well people and until we teach our children to love each other and to stop the hating our society will be far less than it can and should be. Please join me in prayers for all who are mourning the senseless loss of life and let’s focus on the forgiveness the families have expressed to the shooter. They are true heroes and should be acknowledged for their grace.

Be well.
Shirley

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Reviews & Testimonials

Having dealt with the loss of my son, I can totally relate to this book. While reading it, I found myself reflecting back to the “stupid” things that people said to me when I was in the throes of so much pain that I couldn’t see past the very next second. I am comforted by Shirley’s words which are down to earth and easily understood. This book WILL help you if you let it. It is a quick read and is one of the things that I like most about it. Grief is a lifelong journey that changes over time so take care of your heart and read this book. It is… Read more
April Braykovich (Kirkland, WA) (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Anyone going through the grieving process would benefit from this quick read. Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief is filled with keen insight and wisdom from the author who lost her own son, and through her own grieving process decided to become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. In her quest to help others, Enebrad shows tremendous courage and transparency in dealing with her own grief to help others going through the grieving process. Beautifully done.
Lonnie Pacelli "The Project Management Advisor", Bellevue, WA
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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This is a must read for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.. It is a quick read and knowing that the author has dealt with loss helps you to know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, we all deal in our own ways. I have read this book three times so far and each time I find something new to help me with the loss of my granddaughter. I will continue to read over and over again and I plan to purchase this book for any friend or family going through this process!
Barb Bottman, Snohomish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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