I believe that we are all here for a reason. Some are born to greatness. Some are born to validate beliefs. Some are born to be part of a group effort of some kind. Everyone has value.
My cousin Johnny died this week. He’s always been one of my favorite cousins. Quiet strength, shy smile, great sense of humor. He was a good man. He was a good husband, father, grandfather and friend. I will never forget him. I will never forget the time his mom dumped a bowl of cooked carrots on his head because he wouldn’t eat the ones on his dinner plate. I remember being so shocked because my mom would never have wasted food like that but my auntie Kay was pretty ticked off as I recall. We didn’t get to go to the movies that night because of Johnny. Hah he never lived that one down.
It was just three months ago that my brother Bobby died. I miss him every day. I hear a song on the radio that he used to play and it brings tears to my eyes and pain to my heart. I know how hard it has been for his wife and children. I received a heart felt message from one of his high school friends telling me how much Bobby meant to him. Another old friend of Bobby’s contacted him not long before he died. This friend wanted Bobby to know just how much his love of the guitar had been inspired by my brother who had taught him to play.
Coach Dean Smith from the UNC Tarheels passed—and it was announced this morning. We all know that people are born, they live and they die. Some are well known like Dean Smith…some are just missed by their friends and families. Coach Smith got to live into his 80’s while others don’t make it out of childhood. Coach Smith was able to influence so many lives through the way he coached his players and for so many years too.
I was at work the other day when my brother Mark called to tell me that he had just left the hospital and that Johnny had been removed from life support. I sat and cried for a while at my desk. I hate cancer. I also hate the way my thoughts went right to the number of cousins who have already died in my family. My parents’ generation consists of five out of seven sisters and two of seven brothers on my dad’s side and no one left on my mother’s. Losing another cousin hits hard especially right after losing my baby brother. Now my generation is dwindling and it just brings it home how precious our remaining time on earth should be. We all have an expiration date. Some who are very aware even have an inkling of how much time they will be here. My son knew he wouldn’t get to grow up. Others have premonitions about dying young. I’ve heard stories of loved ones talking about their impending death and then a few weeks later they are killed in a car crash or worse.
Does it make it any easier to know ahead of time? Intellectually maybe but it surely doesn’t help emotionally. I recently heard from a woman whose son was sensing his end date. She now feels guilty that she didn’t do any thing to stop it from happening. I don’t think you can in most cases. I know she felt a little cray cray for how she was feeling about it too because she had tapped into his precognition. So much happens that is not explainable. I never discount anything people tell me. Their experiences are theirs and need to be respected. When Cory told me that he wouldn’t get to grow up I knew he was intuitive because I had had a premonition when I was 10 years old about him not sticking around. When our intuitions about the future collided it was hard to digest but I knew it was true.
If your intuition talks to you–listen. If someone you know has had these experiences just listen and respect their feelings. Do not judge or try to put your spin on what they have been through. No one wants to be discounted. I believe that having that kind of intuition is a gift. It reminds you to cherish the time you do have. It reminds you that you were born with a purpose. Celebrate the influence your deceased love one had on others or you. Look for your purpose and share it with the world.
I apologize for rambling a bit this week. Grief does that to me. R.I.P. John Jimenez and Coach Dean Smith.
Be well,
Shirley
Shirley, this is one of my favorite posts. It is beautifully written . We can never hear too many times that our passing is inevitable, and so we must share our gifts and cherish everyone we know — just as they are — during our time here. Thank you once again for a timely and perfect message.