Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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Born with a purpose

Born with a purpose

February 8, 2015 by Shirley Enebrad 1 Comment

I believe that we are all here for a reason. Some are born to greatness. Some are born to validate beliefs. Some are born to be part of a group effort of some kind. Everyone has value.

My cousin Johnny died this week. He’s always been one of my favorite cousins. Quiet strength, shy smile, great sense of humor. He was a good man. He was a good husband, father, grandfather and friend. I will never forget him. I will never forget the time his mom dumped a bowl of cooked carrots on his head because he wouldn’t eat the ones on his dinner plate. I remember being so shocked because my mom would never have wasted food like that but my auntie Kay was pretty ticked off as I recall. We didn’t get to go to the movies that night because of Johnny. Hah he never lived that one down.

It was just three months ago that my brother Bobby died. I miss him every day. I hear a song on the radio that he used to play and it brings tears to my eyes and pain to my heart. I know how hard it has been for his wife and children. I received a heart felt message from one of his high school friends telling me how much Bobby meant to him. Another old friend of Bobby’s contacted him not long before he died. This friend wanted Bobby to know just how much his love of the guitar had been inspired by my brother who had taught him to play.

Coach Dean Smith from the UNC Tarheels passed—and it was announced this morning. We all know that people are born, they live and they die. Some are well known like Dean Smith…some are just missed by their friends and families. Coach Smith got to live into his 80’s while others don’t make it out of childhood. Coach Smith was able to influence so many lives through the way he coached his players and for so many years too.

I was at work the other day when my brother Mark called to tell me that he had just left the hospital and that Johnny had been removed from life support. I sat and cried for a while at my desk. I hate cancer. I also hate the way my thoughts went right to the number of cousins who have already died in my family. My parents’ generation consists of five out of seven sisters and two of seven brothers on my dad’s side and no one left on my mother’s. Losing another cousin hits hard especially right after losing my baby brother. Now my generation is dwindling and it just brings it home how precious our remaining time on earth should be. We all have an expiration date. Some who are very aware even have an inkling of how much time they will be here. My son knew he wouldn’t get to grow up. Others have premonitions about dying young. I’ve heard stories of loved ones talking about their impending death and then a few weeks later they are killed in a car crash or worse.

Does it make it any easier to know ahead of time? Intellectually maybe but it surely doesn’t help emotionally. I recently heard from a woman whose son was sensing his end date. She now feels guilty that she didn’t do any thing to stop it from happening. I don’t think you can in most cases. I know she felt a little cray cray for how she was feeling about it too because she had tapped into his precognition. So much happens that is not explainable. I never discount anything people tell me. Their experiences are theirs and need to be respected. When Cory told me that he wouldn’t get to grow up I knew he was intuitive because I had had a premonition when I was 10 years old about him not sticking around. When our intuitions about the future collided it was hard to digest but I knew it was true.

If your intuition talks to you–listen. If someone you know has had these experiences just listen and respect their feelings. Do not judge or try to put your spin on what they have been through. No one wants to be discounted. I believe that having that kind of intuition is a gift. It reminds you to cherish the time you do have. It reminds you that you were born with a purpose. Celebrate the influence your deceased love one had on others or you. Look for your purpose and share it with the world.

I apologize for rambling a bit this week. Grief does that to me. R.I.P. John Jimenez and Coach Dean Smith.

Be well,
Shirley

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Comments

  1. Judy Driggers says

    February 9, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    Shirley, this is one of my favorite posts. It is beautifully written . We can never hear too many times that our passing is inevitable, and so we must share our gifts and cherish everyone we know — just as they are — during our time here. Thank you once again for a timely and perfect message.

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Reviews & Testimonials

This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
William M Womack MD, Psychiatrist ("Six Word Lessons" On Coping with Grief)
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The written word can be very powerful and moving, and every so often there is a book that can truly change lives; Over the Rainbow Bridge is that important. It is a true account of a heroic child’s mission in his short life to teach us about love and life, that one and both are the same: eternal. In our culture, where death is almost a taboo subject, Over the Rainbow Bridge will help us confront our fears and embrace life in a “down to earth” way. It is accessible, a comfort to read, as if being embraced by an old friend.
Gei Chan, well-read Artist & Designer
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Famed researcher & author of 16 books ‘On Death and Dying’
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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