When you suffer a devastating loss either from death, divorce or abandonment it changes you. You may not even realize it. Our focus is loss from death. Suddenly you notice that you are not hanging out with the same people, and many of the people you have pulled away from … Read the rest
One of my clients just told me how much she hates people. I am pretty sure that is exactly what she is feeling. I applauded her truth telling. She went on to explain that it makes her feel like striking out when well meaning friends and acquaintances tell her how … Read the rest
When your memories start to fade and get blurry you might feel as if you are betraying your loved one who died. I sometimes cannot remember if a cute story about my son was really his experience or his sister’s. Post menopausal brains aren’t the most reliable with our precious … Read the rest
I have recently been reminded of that old adage that says “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” Sometimes that happens when people are too interested in something and don’t see the whole picture and how it might impact others in a negative way. Those same trees can block … Read the rest
What makes a friend, good friend, long-time friend, once best friend abandon grievers? Is it that they don’t know what to say? Is it too scary for him or her to face their own or a loved one’s mortality? I would love to hear your thoughts. Having experienced it myself … Read the rest
If you google “Young Widows” or “Young Widows and Widowers” all you get are dating sites. I was stunned. As if the main point is to replace the person who died. From my clients, I know for a fact that replacing a beloved spouse is the furthest thing from the … Read the rest
When your loved one crosses over the rainbow bridge it hurts. Holidays are rough for the first few years. I think birthdays are painful forever. You always have the compulsion to add another year of “what ifs?” and “if only (s).” My son’s birthday is coming up in a few … Read the rest
When a loved one dies, grief can be compounded by how others react and treat you. It is important to be careful about what you say.
I have recently been talking at length with a newly widowed woman I know about the things people say to her. Some people try … Read the rest
Happy 2019! Well, as happy as you can be when grieving…
It is difficult to think of yourself when things in your life get turned upside down. It gets worse when a loved one dies. You are so focused on the pain and sadness you might not tune in to … Read the rest
As we approach the holidays I wanted to reprise my ‘How to get through the holidays list. It is difficult during the holidays when missing a loved one. Just know that you are not alone.
1) Take it easy. Be kind to yourself. No pressure needed.
2) Cherish the memories … Read the rest