Shirley Enebrad

Author, Speaker & Grief Counselor

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A sign of the times?

A sign of the times?

January 19, 2018 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

So, lately, we have been discussing the attitudes of people in general. We meaning me, my husband and my mom-in-law and a few friends. Not sure if the way people are behaving is due to the unease many people have felt since 45 was “elected”. The negativity caused by the ginormous split between his supporters and the rest of the world has been apparent in many ways. So, I am of the opinion that the mean way people are treating each other has some correlation to that event while my husband and others speculate it is caused by social media. Social media makes it so easy for some to say terrible things to and about each other with virtually no consequences.

My friends’ little girl and I mean little. She is maybe 35 lbs. and the size of a 4-year-old. Plus she has a voice like Minnie Mouse. Anyway, she was recently accused of bullying a second-grade girl who rides the same school bus because she was trying to speak to her and the girl would not turn around, so my friends’ daughter admittedly grabbed her by the shoulder. My friend talked to her child about not touching other kids. They talked about an apology being in order. Okay, first of all, if a presumably normal sized seven-year-old is intimidated by this little slip of a girl something is seriously out of whack. Secondly, the alleged victim’s mother got my friend on the phone and started talking cray cray. My friend tried to apologize and assure this mother that the intent was to speak to her daughter not bully her. The woman made threats. My friend offered to meet her at the school in the morning. The woman said that she had asked the bus driver about the incident and the bus driver said the kids were “playing around”. Never did the bus driver say there was harassment or bullying. But wait, there’s more.

Then, my friend received another call from a friend who informed her that the crazed woman was ranting on Facebook and had named the little girl she accused of bullying her child. Yes, folks, you read that right. This woman went on social media to bash a five-year-old child.

My friend kept a level adult oriented head about the situation. She went in to ask the teacher if her child was, in fact, a bully. the teacher said absolutely not. She was advised to go speak with the Vice Principal. She went into the hallway and saw the angry mother holding court.

As you can imagine it went from bad to worse because the mother was telling everyone who would listen all about the horrible girl who had traumatized her daughter…never mentioning it was a tiny little kindergartner. So, when my friend approached her to try to straighten things out the woman started yelling at her again…making threats and then, one of her friends joined in and started screaming that they were going to get the evil kindergartner kicked off the school bus and expelled from school. Who are the bullies now?

My friend finally had had enough and demanded that this silly woman remove her child’s name from FB. The woman replied it was a free country and she has freedom of speech.

Who does this? When I was young it was Seventh-grade girls that’s who. Although it might start even earlier these days. But since when did adults start acting like this? Hence the whole conversation about social media or a sign of the times. It could also be that some people just don’t grow up. I do recall a rather rude woman who accosted my youngest daughter at a high school basketball game. She thought it was okay to say nasty things to Keili because she was angry that Kei was “dating” this stupid woman’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend. Did you get all that? Yes, this woman was inserting herself into her daughter’s business which flowed over into my daughter’s. I restrained myself and just ignored her. I told my daughter to ignore her and people like her. Keili learned a lot about how not to behave from this woman.

I mourn for our country and the world. I grieve for the young ones whose parents don’t know how to act or how to let kids work out their problems. This alleged victim will never learn how to resolve a conflict. I yearn for the days when people were kind to each other. And when people could disagree about an issue without resorting to threats and slander.

Be well.
Shirley

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Reviews & Testimonials

Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Anyone going through the grieving process would benefit from this quick read. Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief is filled with keen insight and wisdom from the author who lost her own son, and through her own grieving process decided to become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. In her quest to help others, Enebrad shows tremendous courage and transparency in dealing with her own grief to help others going through the grieving process. Beautifully done.
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Cory was my favorite patient ever and he taught me more than I could ever teach him. His lessons about Summerland (the afterlife) were profound and his drawings of what he saw ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ helped thousands of people get in touch with their long-buried emotions.
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I loved this very human and touching story of a family’s journey with a terminally ill child. Although it was sad, it was also courageous and funny. It was far more about living than about dying, and offers a positive example for all of us to value each day. The messages about life beyond death’s door are intriguing, uplifting, and very believable. Thank you for a beautiful read.
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
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This primer on grief is practical , honest, and totally on the money about feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which are part of the human experience of grief and loss. The six word lessons are understandable, strengthening, and probably because there are only ‘six words’ easily remembered. It also takes direct aim at the guilt experienced about ‘the need to talk about it’.
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
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