Shirley Enebrad

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4 Steps to Getting a Fresh Start After the Death of a Loved One

4 Steps to Getting a Fresh Start After the Death of a Loved One

October 15, 2018 by Shirley Enebrad Leave a Comment

Aloha friends,

This is a helpful blog post written by guest blogger Lucille Rosetti. Her contact information is at the end. I hope it helps you.

4 Steps to Getting a Fresh Start After the Death of a Loved One

Sometimes grief can be so overwhelming that it feels the only thing you can do is get a new start. While this may sound dramatic to some, getting a fresh start is a valid way to overcome grief. However, it is not a decision that should be made lightly.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Before you rush into any decisions, give yourself plenty of time to grieve. Keep in mind there is no right or wrong way so take all the time you need. Huffington Post contributor Margaret A. Howard, MFA, LCSW encourages you to embrace your emotions and seek support. Confiding in and leaning on friends and family is an excellent way to cope.

As you reach the acceptance stage of the grieving process, you can start considering any major life changes. If you are thinking about moving out of your home, you need to make sure it is a grounded decision. This will keep the extra stress of moving at bay until you are ready to handle it.

2. Deciding to Move

It can be overwhelming living among your loved one’s possessions, which makes it hard to move on. Getting a fresh start is one way to help yourself overcome a loss. Our brains organize memories based on big life events and moving somewhere new can help you heal and begin to truly live again. Do not let your loved ones or employer give you a hard time about this decision. You need to do what is best for you.

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. recommends structuring your move around new goals geared toward generating happiness. Now is the time to pursue a lifelong dream or move closer to friends and family. Getting a fresh start is an opportunity that you should take full advantage of.

3. Selling Your House

It is difficult to sell a home under the best of circumstances. If you are emotionally vulnerable, the task will be even more so. Resist the urge to price your home low to sell it as fast as possible or overpricing it because you are scared the next owners will not appreciate as much as you and your loved one did. Your house is an investment, and you should sell it for its full value.

Take a look at similar houses in your area and see what they have recently sold for. This should give you an accurate idea of what to expect. A real estate agent can also help you price your home accurately. Not only will they walk you through the process, but they also will take charge so you do not have to be involved in this emotional process.

4. Packing Your House

The most difficult of this process is undoubtedly packing up your home and deciding which of your loved one’s things you should take with you. Do not be surprised if this is an emotional process. While it can be tempting to have a friend or family member do this for you, it is not recommended. They do not know your heart and mind and may inadvertently get rid of something you may want to keep.

Instead, let them help but remember that you are in charge. Lifehacker’s Leigh Anderson recommends taking it one room at a time to stay organized. Touch everything as you go, you may be surprised at what causes an emotional reaction and what doesn’t. Sort things into five piles: keep, donate, sell, give to family and friends, and toss. This will ensure only the important things are going with you to your new home.

Starting Anew

Moving somewhere new is a huge change. Do not underestimate the challenges that will come with it, but also allow yourself to be excited. You are on to a new adventure and ready to begin the next chapter of your life.

Lucille Rosetti, Guest Blogger

l_rosetti@thebereaved.org

Hi Shirley,

Sure, I have listed them for you below:

seek support – https://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-howard/11-healthy-ways-to-grieve_b_4757259.html
organize memories – https://www.thecut.com/2016/09/how-to-change-your-life-take-advantage-of-fresh-starts.html
new goals – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201212/10-tools-restarting-your-life
full value. – https://www.redfin.com/what-is-my-home-worth
real estate agent – https://www.thebalance.com/top-reasons-to-hire-a-real-estate-agent-1798906
packing – https://www.containerstore.com/organization-projects/general/tip/downsizing-home
not recommended. – https://www.griefandsympathy.com/cleaningouthouseafterdeath.html
one room – https://lifehacker.com/how-to-deal-with-your-parents-stuff-when-they-die-1818537528

Hope this helps. Thank you so much in advance!

Best,

 

 

 

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Reviews & Testimonials

Having dealt with the loss of my son, I can totally relate to this book. While reading it, I found myself reflecting back to the “stupid” things that people said to me when I was in the throes of so much pain that I couldn’t see past the very next second. I am comforted by Shirley’s words which are down to earth and easily understood. This book WILL help you if you let it. It is a quick read and is one of the things that I like most about it. Grief is a lifelong journey that changes over time so take care of your heart and read this book. It is… Read more
April Braykovich (Kirkland, WA) (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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I just have to tell you that your book has become a part of me.  I have milked it by only reading it when I was alone and quiet.  I feel I know little Cory now.  It has been a privilege getting to know his sweet spirit.  Thank you so much for sharing a small part of him with me.  I would love to see the video that was made.  Bless your heart for the pure love and strength that you instilled in your sweet baby.  Cory is a true gift to all who get to share his story.
Pamala Butler Iacovitti, Wichita Falls, Texas (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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Anyone going through the grieving process would benefit from this quick read. Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief is filled with keen insight and wisdom from the author who lost her own son, and through her own grieving process decided to become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. In her quest to help others, Enebrad shows tremendous courage and transparency in dealing with her own grief to help others going through the grieving process. Beautifully done.
Lonnie Pacelli "The Project Management Advisor", Bellevue, WA
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Shirley, I can’t tell you how much your book touched my life. Your son was an amazing boy-such an upbeat, inspiring, beautiful little boy… although I cried, I also celebrated the person he was. And your writing made me feel like I was a part of your life with your son, instead of just reading about it. Images came to mind. Like when you had to walk that long distance to the hospital with your son in your arms after your car broke down. There were so many others… and the laughs I had with the ghosts!  The feelings I experienced while reading –I … Read more
Lisa Salvati, TV News Reporter, New York (after reading Over the Rainbow Bridge)
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The greatest gift I received from reading “Over the Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting peace about death and dying. Death is not an ending, but the beginning of a new phase. Powerful. Thanks Cory for your wisdom.Through the life of this 9 year old boy, I learned more insights about heaven and the afterlife than I ever learned by attending church. I don’t know who I’m more impressed with—Cory, a young man who even in death was the most positive, inspirational person I never met; or his mother Shirley who had the courage to really list… Read more
Shelly Heesacker, Freelance TV Field Producer for ‘Oprah’ and ‘The Dr. Phil Show’
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Although I haven’t experienced too much loss, this short, to-the-point book gave me a wealth of very important information on how to help others cope with grief, and how to know what to expect when it happens to me. I learned about things to say and not to say to those grieving, and how important it is to let yourself go through the process when you experience loss. The author knows what she is talking about, as she has experienced extensive loss herself. Concise and helpful tips!
P. Pacelli, Sammamish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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Over the Rainbow Bridge is an intelligent and emotional book that exhibits an unforgettable life and death of a child wise beyond his young years. You don’t have to be grieving to get Cory’s life lessons.
Karen Minton, MA, CAN, Gosnell Memorial Hospice House, Maine
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Books are often described as good, exciting, motivational, or inspirational. Rarely do you find one that is truly life transforming. ‘Over the Rainbow Bridge’ is just such a book. It is absolutely miraculous the impact the story of this little nine your old child had on my perception of life, death, and God. My life has been inspired and enhanced by Cory’s story. If you are depressed for any reason, you will have a change of heart and mind after reading how Cory dealt with every day life in the short time he was here on earth. I can hardl… Read more
Carrie D. Hewitt, Newly Encouraged Mother of Four
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This is a must read for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.. It is a quick read and knowing that the author has dealt with loss helps you to know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, we all deal in our own ways. I have read this book three times so far and each time I find something new to help me with the loss of my granddaughter. I will continue to read over and over again and I plan to purchase this book for any friend or family going through this process!
Barb Bottman, Snohomish, WA (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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This book on coping is such a gift. It’s a quick, concise read that any busy, grief stricken person can benefit from. Knowing that the writer has experienced grief is powerful, she has walked down the lonely, painful journey herself. Thank you for this book as we grieve the loss of my beautiful mother-in-law!
Joanie Raaum (after reading Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief)
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