“No Amount of Time is Enough” #24 from Six Word Lessons on Coping with Grief is appropriate for just about everyone on any given day.
Not spending enough time with a loved one prior to his or her death is classic. Let’s face it, we never know when a loved on will be gone from our lives. Even in the case of a terminal illness the time of death is not known. We all lead busy lives and often times our contact with those we love is put off for later… a few hours, a few days, a few weeks later. Then, something horrible happens and we are no longer in control of when and how we can connect with those we love.
A very dear friend who was part of my history for most of my life just crossed over the rainbow bridge yesterday. After a massive stroke her kids were forced to make the difficult decision to remove life support and God bless her, she hung in there for a week.
Christmas was always her favorite holiday and my guess is that she didn’t want to ruin it for her family for the rest of their lives so she hung in as long as she could. She was like that. She always put her loved ones first. A good lesson for all parents. She taught me a lot about how to make life fun and meaningful for my children. I am grateful. By her example I tried to give my children the magic of believing in Santa and the reason for the season. Baking with the kids…giving most of it away. Giving and living.
Speaking of Christmas, I have tree ornaments that she taught me to make from beads and little mirrors. Beaded bells and skaters that adorn my tree year after year. Now, some of them are lighting up my daughter’s tree. We used to sit around for hours tole painting and she got me hooked on painting ceramic Christmas village houses too. So many crafts and so much fun, but not enough time together.
The fond memories of the time we spent will help to sustain me. I hope that the memories her kids and grand children have will help them to get over the feeling that they didn’t spend enough time with her. We all feel it. No matter how much time you spend, no amount is enough. So try not to let guilt get you down. Try to stay positive and focus on the good times. Celebrate and honor the person you are grieving.
I celebrate you Ronna Lee Pavone…the rodeo, the armadillo races, the parties, playing with the kids in your pool, the good times, the bad, the wine and song. And I will remember your laughter and magic especially at Christmastime for the rest of my life. I am looking forward to 2014. Peace.